Africa – South & East.

We arrived right on time at Johannesburg’s O.R. Tambo International Airport (JNB), made the usual hike through the terminal, and managed to quickly retrieve all three pieces of our checked luggage… and they were even undamaged! Even our trip through South African officialdom went incredibly smoothly. Their “Food Police” inspector only spoke with us for a couple of minutes and the Customs Officer just wanted to welcome us to his country and to record our Passport numbers; no hassles at all and the officials we met were all incredibly warm, smiling, and friendly. No one even came close to asking to inspect our luggage! No one asked, so we didn’t to have to ‘fess-up about the 100+ cigars Roger had with him….

We did, however, have a little trouble getting to our hotel. We were victims of the old, “take you to the wrong hotel scam”, and it cost us a few extra bucks to eventually get to the right one. Unfortunately, this would be an omen of things to come.

We had web-booked a three night stay at The Westford Hotel & Suites (http://www.thewestford.co.za/) in Sandton  (a “safe” suburb of Johannesburg) due to reviews in Trip Advisor.com. Per the reviews, this hotel was supposed to have the necessary amenities at a reasonable daily rate.  About the only thing that was as advertised was the price, everything else was a severe disappointment. The WiFi didn’t and hadn’t worked in “a while”, the rooms were very spartan (in a converted sanitarium-room kinda way), the lift (elevator) didn’t work, the interior and exterior were noticeably run-down, and there was a glaring lack of other guests. About the only upsides were the friendly staff and the fact that you could smoke cigars in your room, the pool deck, on the bar patio.

Eron was tired (from a combination of having the flu and almost two full days of being in transit) so she took a nap. I went down to the bar patio to have my first “African Cigar”. The patio was absolutely deserted and featured one lonely patio set and a couple of conversation areas with beat up old coffee tables and a number of rather disgusting sofas – they were ratty, stained, sun-faded, and had patches of

what looked suspiciously like black mould on them. Good thing I brought my ashtray and bevie; there were no ashtrays to be found and no bartender either. In fact, I was twenty minutes into my King’s Court Churchill before anyone even came out to ask if I would like a drink. And during the entire time it took for me to smoke my Churchill, only one other guest came into the bar or out onto the patio.

After Eron’s nap, we walked to the nearby Nelson Mandela Square Mall to grab a bite and discuss our hotel-situation. We ate lunch at the “Trump Grill”; a specialty BBQ and grill restaurant. Definitely give this place a miss. The staff was friendly and the service was decent. However, Eron’s BBQ chicken was bland and flavourless, my ribs and veal chops were slathered in a “chef-made sauce” that would’t hold a candle to most store-bought BBQ sauces, and the background(?) music was intrusive. Overall, a dining experience not befitting the price-point of this establishment.

Back to our “hotel-situation”; over lunch, we discussed the pros and cons of checking out of the Westford. One of the main reasons we chose it was that Johannesburg is a very expensive place for hotel rooms. Although The Westford had received a number of mixed reviews on the web, it was generally considered to be a “good value” given the nightly rates at better known hotels. That and the advertised free in-room WiFi convinced us to book our three nights in Joburg at this hotel. This is where reality trumps a business’ web image. Our final decision was that even though any better hotel would come at a much higher cost, sticking with The Westford would likely sour our entire experience in Joburg; in Eron’s words, she felt staying in The Westford made her feel like she was being held “hostage”. Especially since it was considered “unsafe” to be  walking about at night on the streets surrounding the hotel.

It was decided; we would try to find a more suitable hotel in a better area. As luck would have it, I had spotted a Holiday Inn from the patio while I was smoking my cigar. So, we started our search there. What a difference only four blocks make! The Holiday Inn, Sandton is located two blocks on one side of the main train station while The Westford was two blocks to the other but they could’ve very well been in entirely different cities. The contrasts were dramatic; mere blocks away the Holiday Inn was modern, well-maintained, offered all the expected amenities and services, and (most importantly) was in an area that was considered “safe” to be walking around in – even at night. The only thing the two hotels had in common were their friendly and welcoming staffs. We immediately made arrangements to check in, got a cab back to The Westford to check out, and moved all our stuff over to the Holiday Inn.

The Holiday Inn  (http://www.holidayinn.com/hotels/us/en/sandton/sndrr/hoteldetail?sicreative=18991617579&sicontent=0&sitrackingid=333157467&cm_mmc=Google-PS+US+HI+Regions-_-G+B-EMEA-_-Exact-_-holiday+inn+sandton&siclientid=4660) staff and management were very accommodating; after hearing our tale of hotel-woe, they even gave us complimentary breakfasts for the length of our stay. And the great news… when asked about smoking cigars, they told me I could smoke in a designated area near the main entrance or on a covered section of their ninth floor roof-top pool deck. Of course, this is where I headed off to for my second “South African Cigar” – a Pepin-rolled Casa Royale Churchill. Sitting on a chair with a view of Joburg’s city lights nine floors below you while enjoying a cigar without any hassles from staff or other guests… that’s a fine way to forget about any and all disappointments.